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People Confessed Issues They Face In Humongous Age Gap Relationships, And Man, It's A Doozy. A Reddit user asked couples of the community, [Those] with a large age difference, how is it different, and what kind of issues do you face?" Their experiences were sooooo eye-opening that they inspired our BuzzFeed Community to share their own age gap relationship stories. Universal Pictures.
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Here's what they had to say: Note: Some submissions include topics of domestic and emotional abuse, and suicide. Please proceed with caution. 1. "My ex-husband was 19 years older than me. He had a daughter who was two months younger than me. It was a horrible marriage. He was so immature, had a degree, and could get a good job, but he jumped around to different places and wouldn't stay in one place. He was controlling and would always bring up the age difference and say things like, 'I know you wish you were with someone younger' and things like that. He isolated me from my family, and I tried to convince him I loved him every day. His daughter and I got along great, but I left after things became abusive. He never dates anyone his own age except for his daughter's mother. I'm sure not all relationships with age gaps are bad, but my experience was awful." 2. "I'm 43, and my partner is 57, and we've been together for 14 years now. Prior to this relationship, my biggest age gap relationship was just two years. It's interesting because we both come from very specific backgrounds relating to what our fathers did for a living during the Cold War (experiences people my own age could never relate to). Occasionally, something comes up where my partner is just mind-blown at how old I was when x, y, and z happened. But aside from dumb stuff like, 'Yeah, I was five when that film came out,' it's a non-issue because our experiences over our lives are so similar. Neither of us has or wants children, which I think, on some levels, makes it easier. But I don't believe it's ever as simple as a number or perceived maturity or whatever." 3. "I'm 59. Men my own age and older are either too conservative, or I'm invisible to them because all they want are twenty-something women. I feel like I'll never date again if I don't go younger, but anything less than 40 is just too much of a difference. But, I want someone who really cares for me and not someone for whom I'm only a caretaker or a fetish." iStock_Oles / Getty Images. 4. "I think age gaps are pretty weird if there's a 15-year difference. But people forget why the age gap is 'gross:' it's because of the power dynamic. Someone who's older may use that to manipulate you and do whatever they have in mind. But as long as the power is distributed fairly, I don't see any problem with it if it's not like I'm 18 and he's 40. Because that's preying on a child. I had the same thoughts as everyone here until I met this man who was 10 years older than me. I have never met someone more respectful, more patient, and emotionally mature than him. I'm not sure where me and him are headed, but he has opened my mind to so many things that I should have cared more about before meeting him." "I've never felt safer to express my feelings and more confident in my life. The only thing that intimidates me since we are only dating is thinking how great he is and how much more growing I have to do. But, I'll always think about the man I met in my twenties who helped me ground myself into who I'll become." 5. "My boyfriend is 14 years older than me and truly my soulmate. We’ve been together almost four years now and have helped each other grow so much. He has a 16-year-old son (the same age as my younger brother, funnily enough) who I love and adore so much. I’ve always felt old for my age (29) and am so thankful for him and the family we’re building together. Thinking about how he’ll die before me sends me into an absolute tailspin, but it also means I appreciate all the years we do have even more." 6. "A dear friend of my family was around 50 when his wife died of cancer. Before dying, she told him she didn't want him to be alone and to not keep himself from finding a new partner after she would leave. He said NO WAY because he was so sad. After she died, some friends banded together and gifted him a trip to Mexico to help him feel less depressed. While he was over there, he met a 30-year-old Mexican woman and they fell head over heels with each other. She came to the US with him later, and they got married. They've been together for about 25 years now and adore each other. She is wheelchair-ridden due to having polio as a child, and he has a severe gluten allergy. They take such good care of each other." Kieferpix / Getty Images. 7. "My wife is 16 years younger than me (for the record, SHE hit on ME to start our relationship). We started dating when she was in her mid-twenties, and I was in my late-thirties. We meshed well and had similar interests, and I proposed after a couple of years of dating. By this time, her family was over the age difference, and we waited almost two more years to tie the knot. We've been married 10+ years now and have turned out better than her siblings and mine combined. I handle the day-to-day stuff so she can do her own thing, and my only worry is that eventually, I will pass before her, and I am not sure she will be capable of living without me taking care of all the small things for her." 8. "I’m 27 and currently dating a man who is 65. I asked for his number, and since then, we have hit it off. He takes me out for dinner, walks me home after work, and makes me smile and happy. He has such an upbeat, trendy, and young energy (which I am so attracted to). Things are going well, and I’ve never been happier in my life since meeting him." Aja Koska / Getty Images. 9. "My husband and I have a 14-year age difference, and we met at work. We’ve been married for 31 years now. We both have children from previous marriages, but none of them are together. Our kids are very close, love each other, and love us. My only fear is the same one all married couples have, which is having to live without the other person should they die first. But we all have that fear, and no one knows what the future holds. We have a wonderful marriage and family — I wouldn’t change a thing." 10. "My husband was 13 years older than me. We were married 33 years before he passed away three years ago. He had Alzheimer’s disease for the last six years of his life. Despite that, he was a wonderful husband, and we had a remarkable marriage. Someone asked me if I had known in advance that he would develop Alzheimer’s, would I have married him? I absolutely would have. Even though the last six years were tough and sometimes sad, I was married to the best husband any woman could have possibly expected for 27 years, and very few women can say that. BTW, my first husband was only a year older than me, and was killed in an accident at age 35. It was a terrible marriage." 11. "You know people are capable of tightrope walking across canyons and eating expired food and not dying. Just because people CAN do something and they CAN be successful in doing it, it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Age gap relationships are disgusting. They CAN work, but it’s a bad idea. I’m a man and married to a woman who is my own age. We’ve been married for 20 years and have three kids. We’re happy. We both did our fair share of dating before we met each other. I dated a 20-year-old girl when I was 30, and I dated a 45-year-old woman when I was 28. Both relationships didn’t last, and I think a big part of that was the age difference." "Instead of dating someone 30 years older or younger than you, how about doing some serious self-inventory to get to the root cause of why you seek out such age-gap relationships? I feel like it's guaranteed that if a 28-year-old finds an 82-year-old attractive enough to bang and marry, there’s another 28-year-old counterpart who's more compatible." Alina Rudya / Getty Images. 12.
My boyfriend is 10 years younger than me
My boyfriend is 10 years older than me
People Confessed Issues They Face In Humongous Age Gap Relationships, And Man, It's A Doozy. A Reddit user asked couples of the community, [Those] with a large age difference, how is it different, and what kind of issues do you face?" Their experiences were sooooo eye-opening that they inspired our BuzzFeed Community to share their own age gap relationship stories. Universal Pictures.
ENTER TO THE SITE
Here's what they had to say: Note: Some submissions include topics of domestic and emotional abuse, and suicide. Please proceed with caution. 1. "My ex-husband was 19 years older than me. He had a daughter who was two months younger than me. It was a horrible marriage. He was so immature, had a degree, and could get a good job, but he jumped around to different places and wouldn't stay in one place. He was controlling and would always bring up the age difference and say things like, 'I know you wish you were with someone younger' and things like that. He isolated me from my family, and I tried to convince him I loved him every day. His daughter and I got along great, but I left after things became abusive. He never dates anyone his own age except for his daughter's mother. I'm sure not all relationships with age gaps are bad, but my experience was awful." 2. "I'm 43, and my partner is 57, and we've been together for 14 years now. Prior to this relationship, my biggest age gap relationship was just two years. It's interesting because we both come from very specific backgrounds relating to what our fathers did for a living during the Cold War (experiences people my own age could never relate to). Occasionally, something comes up where my partner is just mind-blown at how old I was when x, y, and z happened. But aside from dumb stuff like, 'Yeah, I was five when that film came out,' it's a non-issue because our experiences over our lives are so similar. Neither of us has or wants children, which I think, on some levels, makes it easier. But I don't believe it's ever as simple as a number or perceived maturity or whatever." 3. "I'm 59. Men my own age and older are either too conservative, or I'm invisible to them because all they want are twenty-something women. I feel like I'll never date again if I don't go younger, but anything less than 40 is just too much of a difference. But, I want someone who really cares for me and not someone for whom I'm only a caretaker or a fetish." iStock_Oles / Getty Images. 4. "I think age gaps are pretty weird if there's a 15-year difference. But people forget why the age gap is 'gross:' it's because of the power dynamic. Someone who's older may use that to manipulate you and do whatever they have in mind. But as long as the power is distributed fairly, I don't see any problem with it if it's not like I'm 18 and he's 40. Because that's preying on a child. I had the same thoughts as everyone here until I met this man who was 10 years older than me. I have never met someone more respectful, more patient, and emotionally mature than him. I'm not sure where me and him are headed, but he has opened my mind to so many things that I should have cared more about before meeting him." "I've never felt safer to express my feelings and more confident in my life. The only thing that intimidates me since we are only dating is thinking how great he is and how much more growing I have to do. But, I'll always think about the man I met in my twenties who helped me ground myself into who I'll become." 5. "My boyfriend is 14 years older than me and truly my soulmate. We’ve been together almost four years now and have helped each other grow so much. He has a 16-year-old son (the same age as my younger brother, funnily enough) who I love and adore so much. I’ve always felt old for my age (29) and am so thankful for him and the family we’re building together. Thinking about how he’ll die before me sends me into an absolute tailspin, but it also means I appreciate all the years we do have even more." 6. "A dear friend of my family was around 50 when his wife died of cancer. Before dying, she told him she didn't want him to be alone and to not keep himself from finding a new partner after she would leave. He said NO WAY because he was so sad. After she died, some friends banded together and gifted him a trip to Mexico to help him feel less depressed. While he was over there, he met a 30-year-old Mexican woman and they fell head over heels with each other. She came to the US with him later, and they got married. They've been together for about 25 years now and adore each other. She is wheelchair-ridden due to having polio as a child, and he has a severe gluten allergy. They take such good care of each other." Kieferpix / Getty Images. 7. "My wife is 16 years younger than me (for the record, SHE hit on ME to start our relationship). We started dating when she was in her mid-twenties, and I was in my late-thirties. We meshed well and had similar interests, and I proposed after a couple of years of dating. By this time, her family was over the age difference, and we waited almost two more years to tie the knot. We've been married 10+ years now and have turned out better than her siblings and mine combined. I handle the day-to-day stuff so she can do her own thing, and my only worry is that eventually, I will pass before her, and I am not sure she will be capable of living without me taking care of all the small things for her." 8. "I’m 27 and currently dating a man who is 65. I asked for his number, and since then, we have hit it off. He takes me out for dinner, walks me home after work, and makes me smile and happy. He has such an upbeat, trendy, and young energy (which I am so attracted to). Things are going well, and I’ve never been happier in my life since meeting him." Aja Koska / Getty Images. 9. "My husband and I have a 14-year age difference, and we met at work. We’ve been married for 31 years now. We both have children from previous marriages, but none of them are together. Our kids are very close, love each other, and love us. My only fear is the same one all married couples have, which is having to live without the other person should they die first. But we all have that fear, and no one knows what the future holds. We have a wonderful marriage and family — I wouldn’t change a thing." 10. "My husband was 13 years older than me. We were married 33 years before he passed away three years ago. He had Alzheimer’s disease for the last six years of his life. Despite that, he was a wonderful husband, and we had a remarkable marriage. Someone asked me if I had known in advance that he would develop Alzheimer’s, would I have married him? I absolutely would have. Even though the last six years were tough and sometimes sad, I was married to the best husband any woman could have possibly expected for 27 years, and very few women can say that. BTW, my first husband was only a year older than me, and was killed in an accident at age 35. It was a terrible marriage." 11. "You know people are capable of tightrope walking across canyons and eating expired food and not dying. Just because people CAN do something and they CAN be successful in doing it, it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Age gap relationships are disgusting. They CAN work, but it’s a bad idea. I’m a man and married to a woman who is my own age. We’ve been married for 20 years and have three kids. We’re happy. We both did our fair share of dating before we met each other. I dated a 20-year-old girl when I was 30, and I dated a 45-year-old woman when I was 28. Both relationships didn’t last, and I think a big part of that was the age difference." "Instead of dating someone 30 years older or younger than you, how about doing some serious self-inventory to get to the root cause of why you seek out such age-gap relationships? I feel like it's guaranteed that if a 28-year-old finds an 82-year-old attractive enough to bang and marry, there’s another 28-year-old counterpart who's more compatible." Alina Rudya / Getty Images. 12.
My boyfriend is 10 years younger than me
My boyfriend is 10 years older than me