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People are all too quick to pigeonhole bisexual and pansexual guys. Dating someone femme-presenting? You’re straight.
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Dating A Guide for ‘Straight’ Guys Who Want to Explore Their Bisexuality. People are all too quick to pigeonhole bisexual and pansexual guys. Dating someone femme-presenting? You’re straight. Dating someone on the masculine side? Secretly gay and not ready to admit it. Dating a non-binary person who presents androgynously? Also gay, probably. The thing is, bi and pan (short for “pansexualâ€) guys exist – I know, because I am one. These fundamental misconceptions swirl around mainstream gay scenes and straight spaces alike. I once had a threesome with two gay German guys and afterwards one playfully referred to me as a “baby queer†– erm, no, I’m just as queer as you mate, did you not notice when I was sucking your dick? Videos by VICE. But let’s say you’re a guy who’s realised that, like me, you might not be totally straight – but you’ve only ever been in heterosexual relationships. You’re keen to explore, but you’re also anxious about the whole thing. Does that sound like you? In honour of Bisexuality Visibility Week, here are some pointers to help you navigate the terrain. Not you? Maybe still read on, so you can understand our sexuality a little better. So you’ve got an inkling you’re not totally straight, but how do you know for sure? “You may not have that lightbulb moment,†warns Zachary Zane, a queer sex columnist and sex expert for Promescent. “I thought the moment my lips touched another man’s, I’d know definitively if I was gay or straight. Either I’d love it and suddenly know, or I’d clearly not be into it. Sometimes we have a lot of unconscious internalised homophobia and biphobia that inhibits us from initially enjoying the experience.†Robert Hutchinson is a personal development coach and the co-founder of the Gay Happiness Project, a mindfulness-based group training programme for queer men. “Sexuality is in the body,†he says. “You’ll feel it – it’s really important to listen to your body and take notice of what it’s telling you.†“Things like a warm feeling around your heart might be a sign of a romantic attraction to a guy. And if you’ve got the unexpected butterflies in your stomach when you’re talking to a guy who you might fancy, that can be a sign of sexual tension.†I’ve never even flirted with a guy. How am I going to date one? “In my experience, guys are a lot easier to flirt with than women,†Zane says. “You can be more direct and make more sustained eye contact. They often make it very clear very quickly if they’re into you or not. But in general, flirt the way you like to be flirted with. Make eye contact, smile, ask questions, listen.†If you’re nervous, ask verbal questions – œCan I sit closer to you?â€, “I’m thinking about kissing you, is that OK?†– which immediately eliminates any ambiguity.
People are all too quick to pigeonhole bisexual and pansexual guys. Dating someone femme-presenting? You’re straight.
ENTER TO THE SITE
Dating A Guide for ‘Straight’ Guys Who Want to Explore Their Bisexuality. People are all too quick to pigeonhole bisexual and pansexual guys. Dating someone femme-presenting? You’re straight. Dating someone on the masculine side? Secretly gay and not ready to admit it. Dating a non-binary person who presents androgynously? Also gay, probably. The thing is, bi and pan (short for “pansexualâ€) guys exist – I know, because I am one. These fundamental misconceptions swirl around mainstream gay scenes and straight spaces alike. I once had a threesome with two gay German guys and afterwards one playfully referred to me as a “baby queer†– erm, no, I’m just as queer as you mate, did you not notice when I was sucking your dick? Videos by VICE. But let’s say you’re a guy who’s realised that, like me, you might not be totally straight – but you’ve only ever been in heterosexual relationships. You’re keen to explore, but you’re also anxious about the whole thing. Does that sound like you? In honour of Bisexuality Visibility Week, here are some pointers to help you navigate the terrain. Not you? Maybe still read on, so you can understand our sexuality a little better. So you’ve got an inkling you’re not totally straight, but how do you know for sure? “You may not have that lightbulb moment,†warns Zachary Zane, a queer sex columnist and sex expert for Promescent. “I thought the moment my lips touched another man’s, I’d know definitively if I was gay or straight. Either I’d love it and suddenly know, or I’d clearly not be into it. Sometimes we have a lot of unconscious internalised homophobia and biphobia that inhibits us from initially enjoying the experience.†Robert Hutchinson is a personal development coach and the co-founder of the Gay Happiness Project, a mindfulness-based group training programme for queer men. “Sexuality is in the body,†he says. “You’ll feel it – it’s really important to listen to your body and take notice of what it’s telling you.†“Things like a warm feeling around your heart might be a sign of a romantic attraction to a guy. And if you’ve got the unexpected butterflies in your stomach when you’re talking to a guy who you might fancy, that can be a sign of sexual tension.†I’ve never even flirted with a guy. How am I going to date one? “In my experience, guys are a lot easier to flirt with than women,†Zane says. “You can be more direct and make more sustained eye contact. They often make it very clear very quickly if they’re into you or not. But in general, flirt the way you like to be flirted with. Make eye contact, smile, ask questions, listen.†If you’re nervous, ask verbal questions – œCan I sit closer to you?â€, “I’m thinking about kissing you, is that OK?†– which immediately eliminates any ambiguity.