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What Qualities Should I Look For in a Life Partner? Certain traits and qualities, like respect and empathy, can help your relationship flourish in the long-term and benefit your mental well-being. When dating somebody new, you might have a list of qualities you’d like them to possess — such as ‘makes me laugh’, ‘great in the bedroom’, or ‘gets along with my friends’.
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Sure, these are worth taking into consideration. But when you start thinking about this person as your life partner, there are other ‘deeper’ qualities to bear in mind. “When doing your relationship due diligence, there are a few things to look for in a partner,†states Dr. David Rakofsky, a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Wellington Counseling Group. “These could help make whatever time you have together feel enjoyable and reasonably free from relationship tumult.†1. They have a solid foundation. In human terms, this has nothing to do with bricks and mortar. Instead, it’s about having strong physical, emotional, social, financial, and purposeful roots, states Lori Kret, LCSW, BCC, and co-founder of Aspen Relationship Institute. “This doesn’t mean they have to be the most popular, rich, fit, and successful person,†she notes. “But they have to be able to stand on their own in each aspect of life or be actively working on doing so.†While these aspects will benefit your partner, they’re also advantageous to you. “Being in a relationship with someone who takes responsibility for their own wellness means you won’t have to fill the gaps of their self-worth, confidence and security,†Kret explains. 2. They can communicate effectively. As the saying goes, communication is key. And, while your partner needs to be able to express themselves, it’s equally important that they can listen to your needs and concerns. Sharing feelings and needs clearly and straightforwardly aids in “improving feelings of intimacy and closeness,†explains Parisa Ghanbari, a registered psychotherapist in Toronto, Canada. “Partners who are good at communication make our lives easier,†she continues. “There’s no guesswork and confusion in trying to understand them and their needs.†Of course, good communication takes work. But various steps, such as having regular check-ins, can help keep things on track. 3. They share your values. No couple is 100% going to agree on everything all the time, and it would likely be very boring if they did. But having similar beliefs and attitudes towards the key ‘life’ pillars is vital, believes Rakofsky. For instance, he notes, “from how to raise the children you may decide to have, to whether or not charity and other forms of giving ought to be a part of making a valuable and well-lived life together.†One partner can influence the other in some aspects, Rakofsky continues. But “it truly helps when you’re starting off with your values identified and, in the best of circumstances, overlapping significantly.†4. They demonstrate respect. Aretha Franklin sang that we all need respect — and she wasn’t wrong. But it’s not about expecting your partner to respect you more than they respect themselves. Instead, shares Dr. Ashley Head, a licensed clinical psychologist with Thriveworks in Hoffman Estates, they should consider your opinions, values, and feelings and act accordingly. It’s also important your partner demonstrates respect for your personal boundaries. “Each partner must agree to not cross those boundaries, regardless of disappointment, hurt feelings, or in times of anger,†Head asserts. Receiving respect is also vital in helping you maintain self-respect and knowing your value and worth. 5. They show empathy. Simply put, demonstrating empathy is the ability to recognize and understand another person’s emotions and needs. While it might not be a quality that first springs to mind, empathy is critical to relationship success. A 2022 study found that empathy is linked to relationship satisfaction. Partners who are empathetic are more likely to experience loneliness and insecurity if they’re dissatisfied in their relationship, compared to those who lack empathy. In addition, “having an empathetic partner helps us feel more heard and understood in the relationship,†states Ghanbari. This not only aids in bringing a sense of fulfillment, but also helps build trust and respect. 6. They recognize and appreciate their imperfections. We’re not talking about someone who thinks they’re perfect and never strives to improve themselves when necessary. Instead, these individuals can “see their own flaws with grace and without self-deprecation, shame, blame, or avoidance,†Kret reveals. If your partner can do this, you’ll both reap the rewards. “They will have enough confidence and self-love to be able to acknowledge when they’ve made a mistake,†she continues. Plus, “they will be much more likely to provide the same safe space for you to be imperfect and be less likely to deflect blame and responsibility.†7. They’re open to influence. “With some partners, it’s either their way or the highway,†Ghanbari notes. For instance, she says, “have you ever dealt with a partner who knows your needs and wants and refuses to give you what you ask them?†But being with someone willing to accept your needs and consider your opinions is vital. In addition to boosting your feelingsof self-worth and self-respect, it also “leads to more satisfaction and happiness as you feel essential to [them],†says Ghanbari. 8. They give affection in the way you need.
What Qualities Should I Look For in a Life Partner? Certain traits and qualities, like respect and empathy, can help your relationship flourish in the long-term and benefit your mental well-being. When dating somebody new, you might have a list of qualities you’d like them to possess — such as ‘makes me laugh’, ‘great in the bedroom’, or ‘gets along with my friends’.
ENTER TO THE SITE
Sure, these are worth taking into consideration. But when you start thinking about this person as your life partner, there are other ‘deeper’ qualities to bear in mind. “When doing your relationship due diligence, there are a few things to look for in a partner,†states Dr. David Rakofsky, a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Wellington Counseling Group. “These could help make whatever time you have together feel enjoyable and reasonably free from relationship tumult.†1. They have a solid foundation. In human terms, this has nothing to do with bricks and mortar. Instead, it’s about having strong physical, emotional, social, financial, and purposeful roots, states Lori Kret, LCSW, BCC, and co-founder of Aspen Relationship Institute. “This doesn’t mean they have to be the most popular, rich, fit, and successful person,†she notes. “But they have to be able to stand on their own in each aspect of life or be actively working on doing so.†While these aspects will benefit your partner, they’re also advantageous to you. “Being in a relationship with someone who takes responsibility for their own wellness means you won’t have to fill the gaps of their self-worth, confidence and security,†Kret explains. 2. They can communicate effectively. As the saying goes, communication is key. And, while your partner needs to be able to express themselves, it’s equally important that they can listen to your needs and concerns. Sharing feelings and needs clearly and straightforwardly aids in “improving feelings of intimacy and closeness,†explains Parisa Ghanbari, a registered psychotherapist in Toronto, Canada. “Partners who are good at communication make our lives easier,†she continues. “There’s no guesswork and confusion in trying to understand them and their needs.†Of course, good communication takes work. But various steps, such as having regular check-ins, can help keep things on track. 3. They share your values. No couple is 100% going to agree on everything all the time, and it would likely be very boring if they did. But having similar beliefs and attitudes towards the key ‘life’ pillars is vital, believes Rakofsky. For instance, he notes, “from how to raise the children you may decide to have, to whether or not charity and other forms of giving ought to be a part of making a valuable and well-lived life together.†One partner can influence the other in some aspects, Rakofsky continues. But “it truly helps when you’re starting off with your values identified and, in the best of circumstances, overlapping significantly.†4. They demonstrate respect. Aretha Franklin sang that we all need respect — and she wasn’t wrong. But it’s not about expecting your partner to respect you more than they respect themselves. Instead, shares Dr. Ashley Head, a licensed clinical psychologist with Thriveworks in Hoffman Estates, they should consider your opinions, values, and feelings and act accordingly. It’s also important your partner demonstrates respect for your personal boundaries. “Each partner must agree to not cross those boundaries, regardless of disappointment, hurt feelings, or in times of anger,†Head asserts. Receiving respect is also vital in helping you maintain self-respect and knowing your value and worth. 5. They show empathy. Simply put, demonstrating empathy is the ability to recognize and understand another person’s emotions and needs. While it might not be a quality that first springs to mind, empathy is critical to relationship success. A 2022 study found that empathy is linked to relationship satisfaction. Partners who are empathetic are more likely to experience loneliness and insecurity if they’re dissatisfied in their relationship, compared to those who lack empathy. In addition, “having an empathetic partner helps us feel more heard and understood in the relationship,†states Ghanbari. This not only aids in bringing a sense of fulfillment, but also helps build trust and respect. 6. They recognize and appreciate their imperfections. We’re not talking about someone who thinks they’re perfect and never strives to improve themselves when necessary. Instead, these individuals can “see their own flaws with grace and without self-deprecation, shame, blame, or avoidance,†Kret reveals. If your partner can do this, you’ll both reap the rewards. “They will have enough confidence and self-love to be able to acknowledge when they’ve made a mistake,†she continues. Plus, “they will be much more likely to provide the same safe space for you to be imperfect and be less likely to deflect blame and responsibility.†7. They’re open to influence. “With some partners, it’s either their way or the highway,†Ghanbari notes. For instance, she says, “have you ever dealt with a partner who knows your needs and wants and refuses to give you what you ask them?†But being with someone willing to accept your needs and consider your opinions is vital. In addition to boosting your feelingsof self-worth and self-respect, it also “leads to more satisfaction and happiness as you feel essential to [them],†says Ghanbari. 8. They give affection in the way you need.